Will The Real Bill Clinton Please S.T.F.U.*

At this very moment, I don’t really care if this offends someone else’s delicate sensibilities.  Get out your fainting sofa if my language or assessment regarding one of our greatest living Democratic icons puts you off your feed or gets your knickers in a twist.  This bear is a'growlin’ at all the recent (and past escapades) of this “Grey Eminence” of the Democratic Party.   Some of his recent assertions while campaigning for Barack Obama’s re-election bring to mind that old chestnut; “With friends like this, who needs enemies?”

Recently Ol’ Bill has been on the wrong end of at least three different statements which he has had to walk back a couple of miles: 1. Praising Mitt Romney’s “sterling” record at Bain Capital as something to admire, 2. Suggesting the country was still in a recession and that the current administration is making little progress in digging out of.  3. Pretty much saying that he favored extending the Bush-era tax cuts.

The Romney campaign is now using Clinton’s statements in its press releases and campaign commercials.  And you know that this problem has reached epic proportions when Sarah the Pee uses Bill’s words in an effort to make President Obama look far from of the mainstream.  Clinton calls himself “The Come Back Kid”.   I would prefer if he were the “Hit The Road” Kid.  Honestly Bill, how can we miss you if you refuse to go away? 

Former President Bubba announced awhile back that he was now a vegetarian.  Apparently the lack of cow, chicken and pig byproducts has gone straight to his head and he is just a pulled-pork sandwich away from totally flipping out.  I understand from reliable sources that the Whole Hog Café in Little Rock, Arkansas is bracing for a sneak attack when Wee Willie finally goes over the edge.  Even New York area McDonald’s Restaurants have issued a full area RED ALERT, just in case Billy Boy finally snaps his leash and gets a “Big Mac Attack”.  Or maybe it’s too late and his circulatory vessels have sustained clogs of elephant-sized proportions.   Goddess knows, all the arteries, veins and other round, hollow orifices of the red state/rightwing crowd are almost permanently occluded; usually by large boards and/or head-shaped objects--them not wantin’ their Constitutional rights violated by having to ever, ever, ever eat that Librul Hippie, Pinko Tofu.  Or green vegetables that haven’t been boiled to death either.  And they all know that anything Organic is a socialist plot being cooked up by those 87 Commies in the Progressive Caucus.  Don’t want no nanny state makin’ us healthy neither.  We reserve our right to die of something that could be prevented by any DAMN FEDERAL  REGULATIONS.

As I was about to say, I do long for the good old days of the photo ops when Bill and his Secret Service entourage would jog through a Burger King drive-up window.   I, for one was grateful that the S.S. guys were reassuringly and fully dressed like Men In Black.  And, as much of a chub-lover as I am, I was always more than a little distressed when  the president would wear those nylon jogging shorts with the built-in pouch.   You know the kind I’m referring to?  The ones that show every manly “curve”; especially when jogging.  Geo. W always wore biking shorts, but at least he stayed on the bike—maybe everything from Texas ain’t that big, but that’s information I will gladly live without.  Anyway, I always wanted to send an email to Clinton’s White House Offices suggesting he wear something a little more “restrained” and presidential.  I think I would have received a personal note of appreciation from B.C.’s personal secretary, Bettie Curre, who I am sure would’ve agreed with me.  I can just see her now, rolling her sassy black womans eyes in disapproval at Bill and his bad-boy antics (and those jogging shorts).   I’m sure that Monica loved them, however.  And that’s another story I’m not really interested in re-hashing.

But, I digress (as is my wont).   I’m speaking as a Second-Class Citizen when I say that Former President Clinton has managed to piss me off on more than one occasion in his presidential political career; and I voted for him—both times.   Sure, he has that frat-boy charm and devil-may-care attitude that charmed the panties off many  a  Southern Belle, and not undoubtedly plenty more ladies above the Mason-Dixon Line (and I’m sure, more than a few of my fellow chubby chasers were enamored—but not out of their boxer-briefs, cos we know that Bill is a big old Het).  But I just can’t overlook the fact is that Bill Clinton did the GLBT community few favors with his misguided Don’t Ask Don’t Tell (DADT) and Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA) policies.  In my opinion, he set the gay rights movement back at least a decade when he signed these bills.  DADT is now history, but at what cost to the promising military careers of thousands of gays and lesbians?   And look at where we are with DOMA.  We now have to take time and money attempting to overturn a federal law that basically lets states run rough-shod over their own citizens because the federal government does not require them to recognize each other’s civil laws regarding marriage equality.  And, we have had to listen to  right-wing jackass politicians and preachers accuse us of wanting to marry our beloved kitchen appliances or pet goats or whatever.  I mean my 6 Qt. Professional KitchenAid Mixer, with whisk attachment, makes a superb cheesecake, but a longterm commitment?  I think not!  It doesn't have any more of a lifetime guarantee than many heterosexual marriages.

But, back to Clintons’ explanation for these “gaffes” he made regarding  Mittens and Bain Capital and this is a direct quote:  “I didn’t have any idea, when I was giving that answer, that I was wading into some controversy in the campaign, because I haven’t seen the ads, and I’m not following it, and I’m not really part of it. But you’d have to know about a specific case to know whether it was a good or a bad thing. But there are a lot of good people in that business doing good things. That’s the point I was making”.  To which I wittily reply, HUH???

Really, Bill?  I didn’t buy most of your BS  years ago when you were in office.  And I’m not buying it now when it comes to your efforts (unintentional or not) that undermine Barrack Obama’s re-election campaign.  I can’t believe that you don’t know exactly what you are doing.  Nor do I understand your motivation in saying such things?  Sure, it may stick in your craw that Hillary lost the 2008 nomination, but that really can’t be the reason, can it?  I have to tell you, that she has done an impressive job as Secretary of State and would have made a laudatory president, female or otherwise.  But the fact is that Barrack Hussein Obama, and not Hillary, inherited Dumbya’s economic mess, along with the headaches of a recalcitrant Repug congress, the TeaBagger Nutjobs and the antics of Grover “I’m-Not-A-Muppet” Norquist and his moronic “pledges”.  You should be grateful that it is Obama going through this political gauntlet instead of your beautiful and savvy wife.  Can you imagine the things McConnell, Boehner and Cantor would be saying?  I can just hear them now, “Let’s see if we can make her cry”.  Not that Hil wouldn’t be up to breaking a few sets of Repug gonads. And you know that she’d make old “Boner” shed a few tears just for kicks.  So just think of this administration as running interference for Hillary for the following 8 years.  If B.H.O. doesn’t win re-election, what chance do you think Hillary will stand in 2016? You are supposed to be a campaign genius, so I haven't a clue as to what you are thinking if you aren’t  trying to undermine Obama’s re-election campaign.  Eat a cheeseburger for gawdsake and get over it!   Maybe it's just low blood sugar.

Or, and I really hate to think this of an Arkansas country boy, maybe since you’ve joined the 1% financially, you’ve forgotten about the other 99.  You can’t be so seriously out of touch up there in Noo Yawk City that you haven’t talked to some po’ folks lately or forgotten your roots, can you?

So, Ex-Pres. Bill.  I'm imploring you to get it together.  If this isn’t deliberate sabotage, then think before you open your big Southern yap.   I’m sorry if  Barrack  Obama usurped your title as the  First Black  President.  But if you aren't going to help him get re-elected, just Please, *SHUT THE FUCK UP!

Second Class Citizen no more.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=u62OtM_vt5k

You Can't Cure Stupid.

Recently, I  got some confirmation of a notion that I have suspected to be true for some time.  We Americans are stupid, ignorant and gullible, and apparently proud of and accept it with little protest and no intention of changing.   I got this notion from my favorite medium, THE TUBE.  A couple of months ago,  I saw a commercial for Bayer Aspirin and, quite frankly, it irritated the ever-lovin’ crap outta me the first time I viewed it and even more so every time since.  But then, I am over the age of 60 and well into curmudgeonhood, so there is no big surprise there.  If I had a lawn I might consider yelling at kids to get off it. But since I don’t, I am reduced to complaining about TV commercials--and politics.

Anyway, in this particular TV ad, there's this thirty-something business-traveler type traveling on what looks to be an international flight--some Asian airline probably, from the appearance of the Stews (Oops! I mean flight attendants-just showing my age, I guess).  Anyway, this biz-twit sez to the Sky-Goddess that he is having back pain and vigorously pointing to his lumbar region and some cards apparently meant to help with the language gap, and loudly demanding something for pain relief.  I can tell that he is about to raise the volume of his voice, because we Americans all know that the louder you speak to them furiners, the easier is it for them to understand our language.  Now maybe it's just me, but from my experience, whenever I've flown on international airlines out of a major metropolitan American city, the staff always speaks fluent English, so I was thinking that maybe Mr. Junior Exec. was a first-timer on AsianAir or whatever it was called, and just didn't know this.  Well, in the commercial,  the lovely young flight attendant speaks excellent English and offers this yo-yo a Bayer Aspirin.  And immediately he responds by saying, "OH, I'M NOT HAVING A HEART ATTACK!"  And I'm sitting there with my rum and coke, thinking W.T.F.?  There are obviously a couple of things going on here and one huge disconnect for this viewer. The first, is that maybe Bayer Aspirin has been around for so long and it’s use has been so overshadowed by advertising by other modern painkillers like Motrin and Acetaminophen that maybe Mr. Ugly American Traveler really doesn't know that years ago, Native Americans boiled White Poplar Willow to extract Salicin, which is the main ingredient in modern day Aspirin, to relieve  pain.  And, two, much to my chagrin, is that this might really the face and level of intelligence of this guy's generation and he really doesn't know that aspirin can be used for something besides relieving a heart attack.  Or maybe I've got it all wrong and Bayer wants to appeal to the moron in all of us who watch TV.  You know, that lowest common denominator thing.

Or, as I sometimes have a tendency to do, maybe I am just overthinking the whole thing.  After all, it just a dumbass commercial.  But then again, after further thought, I might believe that it is a sad reflection of what goes on with us and the constant bombardment of unfiltered crap we have to deal with and sort through, to find a nugget of truth.  Maybe sometimes it just gets to be too much and we get worn down and complacent by the constant bombardment of visual and auditory stimuli attempting to influence our thoughts daily.  Maybe we are just too damn lazy to deal with it all.  Or not!  I guess we can rationize anything.  After all, it is easier to pour another cocktail than to have to really put much thought into our opinions or the information gathering needed to validate them.

Now,  I do have a medical background and should know about things like where aspirin comes from and and what it does for pain, so maybe I am being a bit harsh.  With that in mind, I took my own independent poll and found that yeah, everyone I talked to was aware that aspirin WAS a painkiller and WAS used for more than treating acute heart attack. So, what’s up with this commercial?  Do the makers of Bayer really think we are stupid or, do they just look at what’s going on in this country , where politicians and right-wing, talking head gasbags on hate radio and TV and their political minions spout whatever lies they want to and your everyday good Americans citizen will buy into it?  May the good goddess deliver us, if the latter it true.  But then again, I did watch the teabagger debate and was surprised that Dr. Ron Paul didn’t even offer to give Brian Williams' hypothetical dying man so much as a 325 mg. tab of generic aspirin to relieve his pain.  Matter of choice I guess.  And personal responsibility too, I was told.  Now, in real life, according to the audience, this poor schlimazel should just be allowed to die because of his poor judgment in not buying health insurance (or maybe he just couldn’t afford the premiums or get insurance because a pre-existing condition-but that’s for another blog posting about the evils of Obamacare).  I was suspect as to the audiences cheering at the demise of another irresponsible sponge sucking at the public trough until the debate cameras panned the audience at this teaparty event and I swear I saw a Madame DuFarge lookalike, complete with her knitting needles clickin’ and aclackin’ and ready to give the thumbs-down to anyone who even looked like they might be a liberal or who wasn't wearing a flag pin.  Oh, my apologies, but as is sometimes my wont,  I do digress.  So back to the point I am attempting to make.

Is anyone else offended by this commercial and its recently shown follow-up, which is complete with a REAL doctor from Bayer informing us all that pure Bayer has more uses than heart attack relief?  Does the advertising industry really think we are as stupid as politicians and their media puppeteers apparently do?   I mean really???  Well, I have been around for a while and I happen to know that they may be on the right track and that this is only the beginning.  Soon we will bombarded by nonsensical, unproven lies and misrepresentations of factual information from all political persuasions and will be expected to take their proclamations as gospel. If we believe everything we hear without checking the facts,  then we as a nation are in BIG TROUBLE.  But the silly season has officially begun and personally, I am prepared to be insulted.   We live in the information age, where anyone with a computer and internet access can find out the truth and facts about anything within seconds.   Let me  repeat the main words here, which are TRUTH AND FACTS.  Why do people believe Sarah Palin when she spouts her nonsense about “Death Panels” in the Affordable Healthcare Act, along with the other politicians who all chimed in with their “pulling plug on granny" remarks?  Even after Politifact determined this to be the Pants on Fire Lie of 2010, you still have people who promote it?  Or, that Barack Hussein Obama is not really an American, was born in Kenya and is really a closet Muslim? Or the nonsense that everything the president proposes is a  “job killer” and people just believe it without going on their “internets” to get the real story?  Are we just a bunch of dummies who will believe anything and everything without researching the truth as long as it agrees with our political choices, bigotries and prejudices. Or our just plain ignorant, uneducated beliefs and ignorance influenced by advertising commercials and political claptrap by psuedopersonalities named Harry and Louise?  And, this promotion of ignorance includes the premise that there is one idiot out there who just doesn’t know that something as simple as an aspirin could possibly be used for something besides mediating the effects of a myocardial infarction-in-progress?   

So, Yeah, today I am of the belief that many Americans may be proudly stupid, ignorant and gullible.  I might be wrong and hope that is the case, but today I am betting on the philosophy of two common men who I think have got it right.  The first is a gent named Steve Polyak who proposes that “Before we work on artificial intelligence why don't we do something about natural stupidity? “   As if there is something that can actually be done about that.  I’m afraid, that it is just too much effort for most folks.  I am closer to agreeing with the more realistic view of view of my favorite blue collar philosopher, Larry the Cable Guy who sez “You can’t cure stupid". 

Now I've got a headache, and a pain the caboose, besides. Give me a damn Bayer and make it a double! 2012 is a long way off and I'm afraid this is as good as it's going to get until it's all over.

Education for Dummies-Chapter 1

     Will it never end or is this just beginning of a national nightmare for teachers and school systems? It seems like the Republican governors and state legislatures in this country can’t wait to outdo each other in destroying the American educational system, all in the name of getting state budgets under control. This is currently going on in Florida, but it could be the template for what is happening in the rest of the country. Republicans seem determined to gut education and school funding under the guise of balancing the budget. Nationally, the Repugs have been pushing to co-opt or eliminate the Dept. of Education for years and if they take control of the White House, you will see this cabinet position soon disappear. Margaret Spelling, “W’s” Secretary of Education, not so subtly blames teachers and their unions for children’s failure to learn. Her words in an article entitled: 5 Lessons From No Child Left Behind, admonishes us to “Watch for special-interest agendas that stall the focus on closing the achievement gap.” She implies that “class-size ratios, modernization of school facilities, and how much money is being spent" is a distraction from learning and that somehow these issues have little to do with a “focus on student achievement.” I‘m trying to figure out if Ms. Spelling has ever spent any actual time in a classroom teaching to come up with these conclusions. Peripheral issues affect teacher morale and effectiveness as much as in any other profession. I think we need to change the old adage of "Those who can't do, teach", to "Those who can't even teach become Secretaries of Education".

     

     The Bushes, father and sons, have all meddled in a field of which they have little to no understanding, having been raised, one and all with silver spoons in their mouths (or silver foot in Dubya's case).  Bush the elder wanted to be known as "The Education President", but never produced anything of note in that arena. Geo. W tried to destroy the Dept. of Education from the inside. Here in Florida, tea party darling and newly-elected Governor Rick Scott, with the help of a Republican legislature, is preparing to destroy the educational system as we know it—a project which was started statewide by ex-Gov. Jeb Bush, with his initiation of the bogus FCAT, an alleged standardized testing program for public schools, and then furthered on a federal level by dimbulb brother Dumbya with his “No Child Left Behind-Sandbox & MonkeyBar Project”.

     The current plan is to decimate the educational system on 3 fronts, and to put those pesky demanding teachers in their place at the same time:

      1. So-called “merit pay”, which will pit teachers against each other, competing for those “bonuses “and turning from a teamwork apparatus to an individual one whose components are all striving for the same almighty dollar. In the long run, students are the ones who suffer, as usual. These bonuses are not peanuts, ranging from $10,000 to $20,000. There will be some serious competition for the same limited dollars. With the Gov. cutting $3 million from the education budget, I'd like to know where this bonus money is going to come from? Once this system is in place, there will be no going back.  I predict that these monetary rewards will be few and far between, because there will never be enough money in the budget to fund this moronic idea. The U.S. Department of Education has put a great deal of effort into prodding school districts and states to try merit-pay systems as part of its Race to the Top competition, although teachers' unions have often objected on the grounds that they don't have fair and reliable ways to measure performance. In most school districts, teacher pay is based on years of experience and educational attainment levels. The merit pay concept promotes the idea that most teachers are lazy, only work part-time, half a year and are not worth the money they are currently being paid. And that the few really good and dedicated educators will rise to the top like cream on a bottle of milk and be duly rewarded. The truth is that most teacher are pretty darn good and after a few years of being slighted and stiffed, will either stop teaching as effectively or leave the profession. But maybe that is what Repugs want.

     2. Elimination of teacher unions, collective bargaining and teacher tenure so that the pols in power can get rid of everyone who disagrees with their politics and policies. Expect them to get more Draconian now that the Repugs have taken over. (Teachers, a side note here for you: Check that “moral turpitude” clause in your contracts—the party of less government will be getting into your business and bedroom, and goddess help you if you need to have an abortion-they will probably show the ultrasound you will be required to get and pay for around the teachers’ lounge-very 1984! Doubleplusgood, Big Brother!).

     3. Implementing of school vouchers so that ill-trained, bored, stay-at-home moms and whack-job religious zealots can indoctrinate the impressionable little tots and at the same time collect per-pupil monies from the state to do it—BONUS!!! Makes ya just want to have as many of those new little Christians as possible. What a boondoggle for the fertile and greedy. Oh, and the religious, too—oft times the same thing. This is definitely a sure way to please your own current Personal Divine Super-Duper Supreme Being; indoctrination and big bucks. But let’s hope the Allah worshipers don’t get wind of this. After all, this is a Christian Nation and we don’t want any state funds paying for any damn Muslim/terrorist Madrasahs like the president attended in Kenya or wherever he was born. The state will fork over almost $7K per child per year. Woo Hoo! There’s gold in them thar ejikashunul hills. “Let have 10 more kids Ma!” Of course the Gov. is planning cut the per-pupil amount by $700 a student, so that reduces the bottom line somewhat, but still, say 5 kids at $6,200 per child for a couple hours work per day? Who needs trained teachers?

     The next move will be to ignore the will of the people with the Florida State Legislature by doing an end run around the class-size amendment. In 2002, Florida citizens approved an amendment to the Florida Constitution that set limits on the number of students in “core classes” (such as Math, English, Science, etc.) in the state's public schools. Beginning with the 2010-2011 school years, the maximum number of students in each core class would be: 18 students in prekindergarten through grade 3; 22 students in grades 4 through 8; and 25 students in grades 9 through 12. Now, in 2011, the Florida legislature is in session and already a bill has been proposed to increase these numbers by 3-5 students for “core classes”. It also would redefine “core classes” to sharply reduce the number of courses covered by the limits.  "Pack em Deep and Teach em Cheap" is apparently our new educational motto here in The Sunshine State.

     Where does this resentment of teachers and education come from? One would think that we would really want to live up to the (erroneous) belief  that we have the “best educational system in the world”. Statistical data determines that this arrogantly held belief is blatantly untrue. I guess it is easy to blame teachers for this educational deficit. According to the three-yearly Organization for Economic Co-operation and Development (OECD) Program for International Student Assessment (PISA) report, which compares the knowledge and skills of 15-year-olds in 70 countries around the world,  the United States ranked14th out of 34 OECD countries for reading skills, 17th for science and a below-average 25th for mathematics. I agree with the statement by many school critics that “indiscriminately throwing money at the problem is not going to solve it”, but I think we need to pay these professionals who are educating our children what they are really worth instead of promoting resentment by “merit pay” and the attitude that teaching is at best a part-time job and at worst "glorified babysitting". Let's make this job desirable. By promoting higher wages, we can increase competition and thereby attract the best and the brightest who might otherwise go to work in the private sector.  Who is going to evaluate what makes a teacher successful and reward them monetarily for it? Surely not our legislators.  And, if parents want to be so involved in their children’s education, instead of home-schooling, why not just team up with a trained educator who spends 30 or more hours a week with little Bobby or to make sure students are living up to our expectations and their potential?  Any politician or parent who thinks that collective bargaining for teachers is a bad thing, should be tied to a chair and made to watch Norma Rae and Stand and Deliver until the concepts are seared into their brains.
    

     I’ll admit that not every teacher I've experienced in the classroom was great. I can think of a few who weren't very effective. But everybody has had at least one or two of those during their school days, and we will stillen downright morons wasting their time an ours.  Everyone has had them.  If they are tenured, then it usually is a problem with administrative policy enforcement-lazy principals and superintendents who just can't be bothered to make sure that schools are hiring and keeping qualified staff. Most of my teachers were more than adequate, a few left an indelible imprint on me and a couple were downright inspiring. Make the tenure system work by giving both new and seasoned teachers fair and honest evaluations and the guidance to improve when they fall short. Anything less is a disservice to students and to our educational system in general. It is also an insult to those effective educators who insist and inspire excellence from their students. Why would anyone want to work in the Rodney Dangerfield of professions? Teachers deserve our respect and support. If Gov. Scott and the Republican dominated Florida legislature thinks that education is expensive, they don’t understand the cost of ignorance. In a recent discussion regarding the Florida legislature voting to end teacher tenure, someone asked, “Haven't any of these people in power ever had good teachers who have influenced their lives??? Where have they been?" To which I flippantly answered “Throwing spitballs and pulling pigtails”. With every day bringing a new attacks on our educational system and teachers, and new disappointments and destructive legislation from lawmakers here and across the nation, I am not so sure I was that far from the truth.    

Facebook Follies

Is it just me? Seriously, do these things ever happen to other people or am I unique? I joined Facebook about 2 years ago thinking that it might be a good resource for my genealogy work, and it has. Talbooms come out of the woodwork at my behest on FB and I have scored over 6,000 Talboom relatives names from contacts in Belgium, The Netherlands and Spring Hill, Florida for my genealogy pages. I have a unique last name, so I figured anyone with the same was related to me in some way. That was my main reason for joining FB.

But all has not been rosy in Facebookland. Almost immediately upon signing up for FB, I was inundated with requests by school and college classmates, old co-workers, casual acquaintances, friend of friends of friends and people I never even heard of. I even was friended by a woman from Our Lady of Sorrows (appropriately named) Parochial School, who sat in front of me in third grade and loved to turn around and say “Marky, I want my Maypo”. If you are of a certain age, you will know what this means.

Everybody wanted to be my Facebook friend. Needless to say, I was flattered. My good and understanding friend and best gal, Vicki commented how fast my friend list was growing; 200, 300 and expanding almost as fast as my middle-aged waistline. It became an exercise in ego building. I was accepting everyone who wanted to “friend” me. I was taking on people who treated me like crap in high school. Women who wouldn’t give me the time of day back when I thought I was straight. High jocks athletes with a sadistic streak and the brains-of-the-class types who thought I was a dumbass. All aboard!! My Facebook page was a leavin’ the station and fully booked. Woo-Woo!! The friend list was growing rapidly, but then, so does shower mold or a bad rash if you let it. I was up to 300 something and it was taking me an hour just to read everything that everyone was posting after I signed on—and to respond in kind. It was like reading an ongoing soap opera with an ever-changing cast of characters,, none of whom I really knew. But the bubble had to burst eventually and the whole mess ultimately collapsed in upon itself. I finally reached a point where I had to ask myself, “Hey, do I really want to invest my time on the minutiae of the lives of these people? People I haven’t seen in 40 or more years? It took a small health crisis and not being on FB for a couple of weeks to re-order my priorities. I did not suffer from withdrawal symptoms; nothing like that. It is just that I found that I was not really missed a whole lot while I was not online. Life on Facebook went on without me or my input. That is when I decided to cull the list.

I started with people from my life in Wyoming who knew or suspected I was gay, but I felt may be uncomfortable with my unabashed “outness” and boldness in talking about gay issues like marriage equality and AIDS. Although he did not say so, I know these were not comfortable subjects for the born-again Christian who was once my best pal in Jr. High school and who I always suspected of being “family” because of his fabulous singing voice and less-than-butch mannerisms. I know he remained my FB friend, but blocked all extraneous transmissions coming from me as an offense to his sensibilities, or maybe just denial that his old buddy was really gay. I think he bowed to memories rather than reality. If that works for his comfort zone, it works well for me also. I figured if I wanted contact with him I would just message him and I have since done so. I like the guy. He is one the most real people I know and also true to his faith. Ditto with several others-they are there if I need to say hi, without them actually being on my friend list. I unfriended a guy that I used to toss pizzas with at Bimbo’s Pizza Parlor near the University of Wyoming. He called me on it and I re-friended him and am grateful that I did. He is a teacher, and a good man to know. I also am FB friends with gays and lesbians I have known for years and am pleased to share stories of their loves and lives and am interested in how the decades have treated them.

I decided to go back to my original premise and contact as many Talboom family relatives as I could find. I re-discovered my cousin Glenn’s two beautiful twin daughters in California and shared in the wedding excitement for one of them. And my lesbian cousin Lorraine and her girlfriend Joanie are always a joy to chat with when I see them online. I stay in intermittent contact with my 22 year old party-animal-snowboarding-nephew who lives in Colorado. I don’t think I would communicate with him at all otherwise. The same goes for my cousin Scott in Arizona. I have Talbooms living in Belgium and The Netherlands that I would never have known if it weren’t for Facebook. They are almost all younger and all speak English quite well and I am sure they are always surprised when I wish them a Happy Birthday and call them “cousin”. I just know they go “WTF? Who is this guy?" But they always respond and they did friend me upon request.

Then there are the weirdoes and the outright hostile; one of which inspired me to write this posting. For some reason, they persist in demanding that you friend them. And if you don’t, you are an asshole or worse. I am loathe to understand this thinking. They absolutely have to be your friend, but because you won’t let them in life, you are the world’s biggest jerk. Case in point: I knew this girl in high school everyone called “Bush” because of her excessive use of white lipstick and platinum blond hair dye and the ability to pile her locks 8 to 10 inches higher than the top of her head. This rat’s nest was all held in place by a can of cheap White Rain hairspray and seldom washed. About a month ago I got a request from someone wanting to be my friend. Said her name was Lynn Madison. Her Facebook page had a Betty Boop pic and no information that I was familiar with, so I ignored it. Then last week, I got this nasty little note saying that since I had not responded, she was rescinding her request. I wrote back saying I had no idea who she was. I soon got a biography including all her ex-husbands names and the fact that she was my ex-wife’s maid of honor and that she had worked as my receptionist at one point in my chiropractic practice, etc. ad nauseum. I had memories alrighty and they weren’t good ones. She did her best to heop put the knife in a marriage that was doomed and then wanted to “console” me when my wife and I finally parted ways. Years later, I hired her as a receptionist and she came to work so stoned all the time she couldn’t even put stickers on the file folders. The end came when I told her to take off the rest of the day and to come to work with a clear head. She left me a nasty little note calling me a faggot and the office keys. This is the person who wanted to be my Facebook friend. Apparently she had forgotten every nasty thing she said or had done to me and my then wife. But, I hadn’t. I politely told her that I only friended family members and people that I had maintained contact with over the years, or with whom I had common political interests. She wrote me a hateful diatribe and I thought that was it. Then, today, I opened my Facebook page. This person was beyond miffed. Here is her last note to me:

Between You and Lynn Madison
March 14 at 8:31am Report
“I always knew you were a faggot!!!! And a rude faggot at that. I think you should get off Facebook cause nobody cares what the hell you look like. Just had to laugh at your solicitous behavior. I guess I was the wrong sex for you. I never did anything bad to you to have you be so rude to me. You are not the Mark I used to like anymore!!! Your chubby pictures are not any better. Said I'd not text you anymore but You really hurt me. Now I got to say what I wanted and I am done with you...and your so called Facebook page.”

To which I respond, “Oh Meowch, I’m so wounded!". What the hell is this all about? I wasn't rude in my rejection. Why is it a bad thing to tell someone that you haven’t heard from in years that you aren’t interested in ongoing contact with them? I guess her comments were meant to demean me, but if this person really knew anything about me, she would have already known that I was gay and that I have been out of the closet for about 35 years. I suppose throwing around the word “faggot” was meant to hurt, but I was somewhere between amused and appalled at her ignorance. I guess this is just another example of the “us and them” mentality so pervasive in our society today. Maybe she thought she was threatening me with exposure. But, I haven't been real closeted for many years and anyone who really knows me understands that I don't care who knows I am gay. And the chubby remark, well that was just plain rude . I’m 62 years old for goddess sake. I am entitled to be a little thick around the middle.

It is called “social networking”. So, why is it that some people use it as a weapon to pry and hurt and ridicule? I guess some use it for gossip, but I am not 13 or 14 years old and susceptible to bullying or blackmail. Those days are long over. It is no longer PC to call someone a faggot, either to their face or behind their back. Or queer for that matter—look up at the subtitle of my blog—I embrace those names which were once used to marginalize us. Gays and lesbians, and indeed all of us, need to try to live our lives out of the closet and upfront no matter who we are, because, by golly, the whole world is watching. Now, more than ever, we are revealed by our words and our actions. And, apparently by our Facebook pages. There is no longer any place to hide. Has this woman lived so little that she doesn’t know this? Or, does she just emulate that which she hears from her friends in her own small existence. Is it just her way of making herself feel superior because she is not one of us—faggots and queers? I have no answers and I never will, because hopefully I will never hear directly from or about her again. I think I did the right thing for myself by rejecting her “request” that I be her Facebook friend. What would she have brought to my life if I had said yes? Or vice-versa? She doesn’t know me and I am sure she would not be interested in anything I have to say since I am just a “faggot” in her eyes. This entire escapade will somehow come back to bite me in the ass; it usually does somehow. But, I control the vertical and the horizontal in my life. I take responsibility for what I say and do in my life and try to be proud of those things. Is she and everyone one else out there in Facebookland willing to do the same?

Committing Sarahcide......................... Part 1-Wasilla Hillbillies

I wrote this a couple of weeks ago for another blog site which is being shut down. I am sort of ashamed to give Miss Sarah Thang the full CurmudgeonBear treatment, but how can one resist. Unlike the moose that she shoots from her helicopter, she is not a moving target. It is rather like giving those carp in the barrel the 12 gage treatment. It is much too easy when she begs for it like a pooch after a Liv-A-Snap. However that has never stopped this bear before and will not now. This observation was written when the scuttlebutt concerned Mess Palin getting her own talk show, while her governanceship was tanking and Palin was a-bailin'. So here ya go folks. My take on the whole brouhaha. Can you imagine Sarah as talk show host? Almost as scary as Sarah as Vice President or even worse, President. Shudder!!!

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Forget the radio or talk show idea. I think Sarah Palin would be great in a sit-com. One where she could parade her children around like she did during her campaign for the president of vice. Put em to work I say, and make 'em pay those hefty lawyer fees mommy is incurring. Every ethics complaint could be incorporated into a episode plot with the evil media and those pesky libruls ending up with egg on their faces at the end of each show. I'm not really thinking of anything as cerebral as Northern Exposure. We don't want Sarah's fans to have to concentrate too hard or have to follow a story line that is too complicated. I know how painful it might be for them to actually have a coherent, logical thought.

Maybe they could combine the sit-com and reality show genres to be something more true-to-life for Caribou Barbie and the First Dude. I'm thinking we could call it the Wasilla Hillbillies. "I can see Russia from the ceeement pond, Todd". Very little acting would have to be done there; the woman is a natural. Of course there is always the danger that the ex-mayor/ex-gov./ex-V.P. candidate would become one of those "skinny Hollywood types" she is always railing on about. And, heavens to Betsy! She would have to deal with those show-biz moguls in the country of California (Hey, if Africa can be a country, why not the entire west coast?); there is always that. But she shouldn't worry. Everyone knows those guys are only interested in the bottom line--something Palin has in common with them. Her bottom line, that is. Sarah may seem like she has just fallen off the logging truck, but she catches on fast. There is soooo much more money in show-biz than politics and who can blame her for cashing in. It's the American way.

Of course there is always the danger that she would "pull-a-palin" and quit in the middle of a 13 episode run (or get canceled, and then what would Letterman do for a monologue?). If I were producing the show, I would want at least 6 episodes in the can before putting it on the air, because by golly, her shelf-life is ready expire sometime within the next 15 minutes. You Betcha!!! Say Good Night, Sarah.

copyright 2009 Mark Talboom

Curmudgeonly Beginnings

Oh Those Curmudgeons! Forty years ago, I couldn't even spell curmudgeon, and now I are one, as the old joke goes. I didn't consciously become one of these fellows. And I didn't just wake up one day and find out that I had garnered a reputation as such. It was a gradual process and a one that encompasses the sum of my life experiences. I guess it is a triad of too much thinking, combined with a jaundiced eye toward human behavior, and the need to articulate a response to such. The journey hasn't been all that bad or arduous. My entire being has been positively shaped in many areas. But for all that, my experience with humanity has left me with a tart reaction to the things in life that so many of my fellow human beings complacently accept and embrace. That which is saccharine; unpleasantly and unnaturally sweet.

And, having been blessed/cursed with this skewed perception, I find an unbridled need to vent, or at the very least, comment. I am happy to have this forum to express my viewpoint on the many things in life that interest me, including politics, love, the so-called GLBT "community", religion, education, "the arts", and people who are stupid and/or ignorant and proud of it.

I hope you come back and visit me as often as you need a good dose of reality. I will post when the mood takes me and as events unfurl on the world stage and in my life; upon which I absolutely must expound. We all live in our own reality and truth. As that old curmudgeon Aldous Huxley once said: "You shall know the truth and the truth shall make you mad." Well friends, when something makes me mad or even deserves a well-placed bon mot, you can be sure I will have my say about it.

So what, exactly, is a curmudgeon? Webster defines it this way:
Curmudgeon/ kêr-mê-jên n [origin unknown]1. archaic: A crusty, highly eccentric, contrary, and strongly opinionated old man.
2. modern: Anyone who hates hypocrisy and pretense and has the temerity to say so; anyone with the habit of pointing out unpleasant facts in an engaging and humorous manner.

The origin of the word Curmudgeon is obscure. It is said to have first appeared in the tome, Description of Ireland (1577), suggesting the Emerald Isle as its origin. However, the word doesn't seem to be Gaelic. It possibly comes from the Scottish word for "grumble". In his 1755 dictionary, Samuel Johnson claimed the the word came from French coeur méchant or "evil or spiteful heart". The word "cur" doggedly comes to mind. However, no evidence supporting this conjecture was available at the time and none has since surfaced.

Indeed, Curmudgeons are really quite sensitive, but they hide their tenderness behind a crust of misanthropy or distrust of humanity. They may grumble, but they are not evil at heart. Their seeming bitterness is a symptom rather than a disease. They mock pretense and decry hypocrisy out of a healthy sense of outrage. Nature has failed to equip them with a serviceable denial mechanism--they simply refuse to live by that river in Egypt. For the most part, their intelligence serves them well with acute perception and an irascible wit. They won't compromise their standards and can't manage the suspension of disbelief necessary for cheerfulness. They attack mediocrity and fraud wherever they find them and their principle weapon is humor.

Curmudgeons are not incapable of love. Many just decline to participate, and those that do so fall prey to the same foolishness and foibles that afflict all other mortals. Curmudgeons fare no better or worse than their fellow man, they just have a few problems with concepts like "communication" , "intimacy" and being "relationship-oriented" and are likely to view and point out the yang side of love while looking somewhat askance at the yin. And then, vice-versa, because the well-seasoned curmudgeon plays no favorites and takes no prisoners.

The true Curmudgeon may be sarcastic at times, but is seldom cynical. They understand the concept of reality. They just look at it sideways and without the rose-colored glasses. As that old curmudgeonly queer Oscar Wilde once said of cynics, "What is a cynic? A man who knows the price of everything and the value of nothing?". That about sums it up for me. I believe life has value. It just needs to be looked at and remarked upon bareboned and unembellished. At least my existance does, and I intend to shape and live it to my satisfaction and to tell those who are interested enough, what I have to say and think. I hope you will agree or at least be provoked to thought. Ciao!
copyright 2009 Mark Talboom with thanks to Jon Winokur